honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Boobs speak an international language.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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