Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
