Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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