Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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