She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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