Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
