An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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