My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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