Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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