i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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