In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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