idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I want her autograph on my taint
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
