I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
