let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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