Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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