Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
