just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
