It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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