think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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