Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
