Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
