If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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