Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
