I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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