she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize