i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
