Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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