After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
