yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
