so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im calling her cock vulture from now on
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
