We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
