hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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