he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
