Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
