she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
