the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well you can't waste a boner
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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