Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
