The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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