Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
