He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
