is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
