bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
