Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
