well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
