Betty ford says i'm here all night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
