I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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