jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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