Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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