I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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