Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
