I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
