Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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