i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
