he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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