watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize