I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
how does that bad decision feel?
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