I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
