but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
