it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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