You're a womanizer and a bitch.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
