Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize