She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
