what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
