Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
