I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize