wrigley field is MILF paradise
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
