We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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