Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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