he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
