My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
